MFC History
January 18, 2006
What Would Jebus Do? BURN SOME SHIT DOWN THAT'S WHAT
I am forever in shame that from about five rounds into 1995 until halfway through 1997 I fell out of love with football. I blame the delisting of Allen Jakovich, I really do. Once the great man was gone I showed up and realised that it just wasn't the same without him kicking 5.6, having an argument with somebody and getting injured. Didn't help that I was 14 years and probably spending Saturday afternoons sleazing onto myself. And thus it was that I ended up watching the Hawthorn merger fiasco from the sidelines.
Seems ludicrous now, but it was probably Don Scott ripping velcro Hawks off Melbourne jumpers that saved us. Rampant stacking of the vote and apathetic knobbery caused our members to vote for it, and if you think we're ever going to hear the end of that you're sorely deluded. In 2056 we'll win the flag - at last - and it'll be "Yeah, but you voted to merge!"
The point of this is that I saw the R22, 1996 game against Hawthorn for the first time ever last night and it looked like nobody cared that both clubs were about to be dicked. Granted most of the people in the ground were probably bleeding about it but where were the mass protests, sit ins on the ground and threatening banners reading "MFC BOARD: WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE"? Just a few dinky "No Merger" signs being waved around. I'd like to go back in time and just lose the plot. Organise a mass pitch invasion when Dunstall kicked his 100th and refuse to leave. Burn effigies of the board etc..
Do you think we'd so apathetic now? I'd like to think not.
Your memories of the time please. Fill me in on what people were thinking, and what was going on. Would Danny O'Brien have gotten a guernsey in a merged squad?
Posted by Supermercado at 09:27 AM | Comments (2)
August 04, 2005
Allen Jakovich Day 2005
One thing we neglected to mention in the midst of our post St. Kilda wrist slashing was the passing of the most sacred holiday on the Every Day Is Like Sunday calendar - Allen Jakovich Day.
You think I'm making this up? Pff. Shame on you. Read our 2003 and 2004 tributes to the great man. Sadly there's very little else to say today, but I did have a dream the other night that took place in the early 90's. He kicked a shitload of goals yet nothing really happened - which pretty much explains his entire career in one sentence.
It's my mission in life to interview the greatest man ever to be a great man one-on-one. Pass on any information you have via the usual address (supermercado AT demonblog.com) and we'll shoot for a 2006 Jakovich Day spectacular like no other.
Your memories in the comments please.
P.S - It is an absolutely 100% correct and true Demonblog.com FACT that I threw a colossal hissy fit and refused to follow AFL for two years when he was delisted and thus missed the whole '95 and '96 seasons. Sad but true. What would you have had me do? I was young and in love...
Posted by Supermercado at 12:56 AM | Comments (0)
April 28, 2005
The horror
I'll be at work during the Fremantle game on Saturday. Undoubtedly a bad thing, but given the horrific memories that surround this fixture it might be beneficial to my mental health to stay well away.
The scene: Friday June 4th, 1999. The Melbourne Cricket Ground, Jolimont.
For some reason I was there two hours before the game. Due to my declared abstinence from drinking intoxicating substances before or during AFL matches (for obvious reasons. Have you ever sat next to me? And how bad do you think I'd be if I was off my face?) and a lack of funding precluding me from hanging out in the Ponsford Stand TAB facilities, so along with a couple of other Friday night football fans I was sitting near the fence watching the Dockers warm up. Two young girls are standing there perving on Tony Modra and Clive Waterhouse (probably just Tony actually..) and call him over for a photo. Suddenly a camera is thrust into my hand and I'm commanded by these random women to take a picture of them posing with Modra. The coversation went a little bit like this,
Adam: "Ok now.. You two smile, and you [pointing finger] don't kick ten goals"
Plenty of laughter all around. Hillarity ensues etc..
The game begins.. Modra runs riot and drills his tenth right in front of where I was sitting. Absolutely shattering. We lost by 54 points, but I took consolation in the fact that surely he'd go into the post-match press conference and give me a massive mention. Something along the lines of "I'd like to thank the dumbass kid who told me not to kick ten for inspiring this huge bag", but he didn't even mention it. What a piece of trash.
It was bad enough that we'd been beaten by the 1999 Fremantle Dockers, a side that featured Mark Gale and Andrew Shipp just because they had nautical names, and all sorts of duds like Ashley Prescott. But to cop that sort of beating and not even get a mention for my prophetic comments to the matchwinner? Shattering.
Almost as bad as the time I told Shane Woewodin that he was going to win the Brownlow after Round 9, he issued a frantic denial and then failed to mention me in his acceptance speech. Let's be frank that was the reason I didn't go wild when we traded him to Collingwood - I was still bitter.
Posted by Supermercado at 06:18 PM | Comments (1)
April 01, 2005
Retro Repost
What we were discussing a year ago,
Round Two, 2004. Melbourne vs Richmond at the MCG.
Friday Night Farce
or “Please donate a new headline because we belted the crunts"…
What a night. Our one and only crack at the best time and place to watch football in the book. Friday evening at the MCG. And the result? Love affair with the game rekindled. We could get tonked for the next twenty weeks but at least this was memorable.
The ‘unification’ theme before the game was nice. There were plenty of club legends there but no John Howat, Darren Kowal, Allen Jakovich or Phil Gilbert which disappointed me a bit.
Credit to those fans I know who got on us at +39.5 points at $14 and cleaned up. I looked at that in the paper and thought about having a dip and then chickened out. Instead I went to the TAB at half-time to steady my nerves, walked in as a horse called “Three Dee Lyon�? won at Port Pirie, paying $8.40 for the win then threw what little hard-earned I had on me away on some shonky harness horse named after Matthew fecking Lloyd.
David Neitz kicked 9.1 and two that didn’t make the distance. He could have been the first of our players to boot ten since Gary Lyon in the 1994 finals but I think we’ll take the nine if it’s all the same with you anyway thanks. Did I not tip that in the preview I wrote for the Herald-Sun? And did they not ignore that and print SHIT about Richmond and how they were good instead? Popularist dickheads.
Meanwhile a big hand to the Richmond bogans sitting behind me who fulfilled every single stereotype of football fans in the book. Demanding a free kick for everything, declaring that they’d been rorted everytime we got one, sledging their own players from the first bounce, turning on their team before quarter time and even dropping an accidental racial slur in during the first quarter (you could hear him try and pull out halfway through). Then they had the nerve to crack the shits at me when I bagged their man Richardson. Meanwhile Richo must have thought he was playing us last week as he had his one good game for the year then and did squat instead tonight. EXTREMELY happy with Alistair Nicholson who is at his best against the slow full-forwards.
And I realised tonight what the major difference between the pre and post ‘old’ Ponsford Stand era is going to be. Back then I could stand at the back, with just a few people around, and go as fucking mental as I wanted and let all the stress go. Now? You’re surrounded by kids and old people and I can’t bring myself to swear, rant and rave in front of them for the full four quarters. A couple of explosive outbursts are a must every game but that’s the be expected. If you sit on the midst of families and act like a complete bastard you turn into one of the wankers who were sitting behind us tonight.
And yes, the stress. I might have briefly flirted with soccer as a first love over the summer but it became blatantly clear throughout the evening why it will never take footy’s place in my heart. I still enjoy going to that. I can relax before a soccer game, I can take a step back whilst watching it and think rationally about what’s going on. When I watch Melbourne though? The anxiety pains start before the first bounce and don’t let up for four quarters. It hurts so good.
Not sure what there is left to say, I would have loved them to go sick in the last quarter and win by a ton but anything that gives us the four points is alright by me. Next week? It’s the Bulldogs. I guess we’ll have a better idea of what’s going to go on there after their game tomorrow.
And thank christ I tipped us in the end. The Tipstar Pick 8 holy grail lives. And with this result it may pay better than $22 this week.
Ahh happy memories.
Posted by Supermercado at 10:46 AM | Comments (1)
March 07, 2005
Retro Repost
With all the MFC related news today about The Terminator and his round one comeback I've had to resort to the oldest move in the book and bring out a post from last season.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my 'review' of last year's Wizard Cup semi-final. Sit back, light a cigar - as all Melbourne fans are legally obliged to do - and take a trip down memory lane.
And that's the end of thatOR.. How I saw Melbourne’s last chance of winning anything ever go out the window.
Yes I was one of the 18000 odd there tonight to see Melbourne do their now traditional folding under pressure in the last quarter and go down to Geelong in the Wizard Cup semi final.
THE POSITIVES
* Shockingly I have no complaints with the Dome tonight. The turf was actually decent and they were kind enough to let us plebs sit in the expensive seats without having to sell our livers to shadowy internal organ dealers in Bangkok to fund it.* The lesser lights shone. Scott Thompson is going to be a star and Aaron Davey appears to be closer in talent to Jeff Farmer than Scott Chisholm.
* There are signs. Good signs. With some more confidence we could (COULD) have a decent season. Probably finish last now.
* We wouldn’t have beaten either of the sides we would have played in the final.
NEGATIVES
* Pissweak crowd again. You’d be lucky to get our fans to go out to Telstra Dome if you kidnapped their kids and threatened to kill them. No matter what the venue is you should always go to support your team if you claim to be a ‘massive’ fan. If your team decides to play for Premiership points in Amsterdam you at least should seriously investigate the possibility of going to see it.
* The defence. Nicholson was outplayed by everyone and Carroll never had the chance to bring his shocking hairstyle onto the field. It looks as if the great “shaft Chris Lamb� campaign is on again this season as well. He would have fit in nicely tonight.
* Big guns fail to fire. Yze, Bruce, Green, McDonald, Brown not seen to fire a shot.
* The umpiring. They didn’t seem to understand the rules, giving a relay free-kick as 6 points in the first quarter and then 9 in the last (and we still lost).
* We lost. By a point. To a side who severely lack stars. Kent Kingsley has best days of the year against us.
We’ll be playing some shitty regional challenge match in Manangatang next week.
Managatang? Kidnapping people's kids? What an era. I was informed, post game, that Green actually had a ripper and that I couldn't call a game to save my life. That's got to fill you with confidence for the season to come...
Posted by Supermercado at 05:58 PM | Comments (0)
February 24, 2005
... and welcome to Countdown
In a new and potentially exciting feature we'll be taking a weekly look at music from, and inspired by, the Melbourne Football Club. If you've got anything - now matter how tenuous - please let me know via the comments.
Anyway for the first edition of this new special feature we've got to go with the obvious. First off the rank,
The Fable Singers - Melbourne FC Theme Song (1.57mb)
How predictable was that? Don't tell me you didn't see it coming the moment you read the first paragraph.
Now in a completely unbiased way let me say that I love this song. I rank it the third best in the league behind the ubiquitous Richmond effort and the operatic stylings of Geelong. In my uneducated musical opinion he trademark of a good theme song is one which can be delivered at maximum volume at a group of opposition supporters without sounding corny. Could you imagine somebody yelling the Carlton song into your face? You wouldn't take it seriously would you? But this is genius. Let's run through it bit by bit.
0:00 - The instrumental barrage at the start is a perfect lead in. It's instantly recognisable and gets the heart flowing. Attempt to fire yourself up to the Port Adelaide song and you'll get nowhere.
0:08 - The big orchestral bit drops out just at the right time for the old man singers to fire up a perfect rip-off of George M Cohan's American patriotic anthem "You're A Grand Old Flag". I defy any MFC fan not to go wild when they see that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa walks in the room singing it.
0:22 - The first verse ends with "the team of the red and the blue" and there's a short instrumental break. A few seasons ago I attempted to pioneer a "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAH" in this break but nobody, NOBODY went with it. Shame.
0:29 - In the break after "and we sing this song to you" it has become traditional to yell out "WHADDAWESING?" without taking a breath. I'm personally a bit suspect of this attempt at injecting Richmond style "Yellow and Black" personality into our already excellent song and refuse to indulge unless I'm particuarly excited about the result or we've just won a thriller. In this situations I like to alter the phrase so it comes out as "WHADDAFCKDOWESING?" instead. It's very hard to squeeze the extra word in, and parents can often be seen covering their children's ears at that point, but it's all necessary in the post-match 'cooling off' period. Very occasionally, in the prescence of kids, I have been known to insert the word "Hell" instead of other terms. Usually only happens at Wizard Cup games.
0:38 - The song finishes for the first time. Softer members of the supporting fraternity, and old ladies, give up here. The rest of us take a few deep breaths, enjoy the spirit of '64 with a full brass backing and maybe throw in some comments to those around you before launching into a second round.
1.08 - By now, if you are me, you will be turning purple from all the energy expended in screaming the first part of the song at the top of your lungs. Your voice - already shot from the four quarters of heartache, drama and ultimate victory that you've just witnessed - is starting to crack and you're wondering if you'll be able to get through another thirty seconds without collapsing but you press on regardless. If you die now it's ok. You'll go while you're happy.
1.29 - Nobody who has belted out both sets can possible entertain the prospect of doing a "WHADDAWESING?" at this point so it's left to all the people who have been clapping for the 1.28 previous to come in and do it for us. We're dying here.
1.36 - The voice on the tape goes up an octave for "keep your eye on the red and the blueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" but you've totally lost yours by this point. You couldn't hit that note if you had a gun to your head.
1.38 - One final trumpet blast and it's over. They'll play the thing twenty five times more but you couldn't possibly sing it. People will just clap along and then drink it in. Collapse on your seat and feel satisfaction that you've just given the opposition fans a minute and thirty-eight seconds of hell. Hopefully repeat the next week and ad-bloody-nauseum to the end of the season at which point we win a Premiership and I drop dead from joy on the spot.
Later in the season we'll be back for a full-scale dissection of opposition club songs. It's slightly off topic, and may open up several feuds with other members of the Footyblogs.com empire but it's a necessity.
Posted by Supermercado at 05:10 PM | Comments (0)
February 23, 2005
Looking back
Meanwhile, as I wait for some permanent links in the sidebar, you might be interested in these two epic documents. They catalog, in order of games and goals, every player to have turned out for Melbourne from 1896 to 2004. From Flower, Robert (1973-1987) to McDonald, Fen (1913) and Norm Smith (546 goals) to Ken McKaige (1). Everyone's there.
There's every possible chance that there might be errors in these files given that I've been manually updating them for the last four years. During the off-season I discovered that AFL Tables, clearly the best football research site on the net, all 16 clubs. And I thought I was mad.
Posted by Supermercado at 04:11 PM | Comments (1)
February 22, 2005
Football Retro
Over the season we'll be dragging posts from the last few years out of the archives and give them the airing they deserve. Here's one from way back in February, 2002. The subject was the first round of the Pre-Season competition.
Begin flashback mode
I f'ing hate Colonial Stadium/Telstra Dome/Hell on Earth. Really I do. I quite enjoyed Melbourne's 43 point win over Richmond tonight, but it's all ruined by having to play at that overpriced sanitised shithole of a ground.
Mind you i'm not happy with the MCG since they killed my beloved Ponsford Stand, i'll have to put up with the Olympic until they knock that down and replace it with another awful Southern Stand-style atrocity.
Other points from tonight,
a) The Wizard Cup rule changes are awful, I hope this is the last year of the madness.
b) Richmond are SHIT. Brisbane would have beaten them by 150 tonight. They might run Carlton close for the spoon this year.
Football, it's nice to have it back.
End flashback mode
As you may have guessed I was thoroughly unpleasant in 2002. I was, however, almost right about Richmond and they would finally achieve their goal of winning the spoon just one year later. Expect to see more of these retro reposts as the year goes on - I promise some of them are even coherant.
Posted by Supermercado at 02:50 PM | Comments (0)